diet coke, salty crackers and the “bloody plague”

So, I’m bleeding…a lot (not enough to go to the hospital but it’s definitely enough to bleed through a “Depend diaper” every couple of hours). This warrants a call to the nurse line; they give me their usual spiel, “if I haven’t bleed through more than one pad in one hour etc etc”. The pads I’m wearing are ginormous though and this bleeding does not seem normal. The nurse tells me to come in if I’m worried, book an appointment if it can wait or go to the ER if it get worse (way to go you! All basis covered!). I don’t want to go back to the hospital for obvious reasons besides my 6 week postpartum appointment is just a couple of days away. I’m going to wait this out, maybe it’s just me regular period coming back (I remember the first one being pretty “horror story” after I had my son) and that’s what I tell my mom. She is doubtful though and says that she doesn’t like what is happening and that it doesn’t seem normal at all. Now we have to monitor me as well as baby, well that is just great! My fever gets worse at night and I have trouble changing diapers, making bottles, pumping milk, burping and feeding my little girl.

The following day I send my husband out for diet (caffeine free) coke and salty crackers, that’s all I can stomach since I’m still throwing up and cramping. I’m also still nauseas and blood as well as unmentionable “stuff” is coming out of me. Oh, man (as my son likes to say after his dad taught him the expression) do I feel drained.

My husband takes our son out of the house (the daycare at the gym and sea world is on the agenda) and my mom helps me as much as she can with the baby (not daring to feed her just yet, besides our system of bottles and boobs is quite complex! And something between me and my baby)

The third day of symptoms, both mom and I realize that I need to get in to see the doctor sooner but miraculously I start to feel better and the bleeding subsides. No more fever or violent vomiting.  I just feel weak, pale, fat (at least I could have lost some lbs. in the process…) and slightly defeated.

Two days later, my incredible mom offers to watch the baby while the nanny plays with our boy outside so I can go to my gyn postpartum appointment. It feels extremely weird to leave the baby, we haven’t been apart since she got home (can’t believe it has been six weeks since I had her but at the same time it feels like yesterday). My doctor and her nurse are both disappointed that I didn’t bring the baby. We discuss my bleeding and all the symptoms I experienced. The doc is ruling out my period having come back since I’m trying to breastfed regularly and pump…well, all the time (funnest hobby ever…NOT). I also only bleed theee days and it was so heavily and didn’t look, nor acted like a period (whatever that means). She does say that they would probably have had hospitalized me for a brief time if I would have come in during the worst of it (wow, just wow). I feel lucky that I got better on my own (could you imagined) but also a little irresponsible not reaching out for help for real. My doctor is unable to tell me what happened to me (why I got the plague) and she insists that it is too late for her to know now (hmm, any ideas would have been appreciated).

As she checks me I tense up and flinch involuntarily (I guess some trauma from the birth is still very much with me). She tells me that I am healing nicely (great) but she can’t, however clear me for any and all activity (darn it) because I not yet healed. She laughs and makes a joke as she comes in the room after having stepped out briefly to tell the receptionist to schedule me a new appointment (“then we can talk about birth control…well, the pain I’m still experiencing is birth control enough thank you very much or how about a prescription of the memory or labor or a dose of “remembering birth”) laughing at me still being in my gown. “No Hun, this time you are not moving in, ha ha ha, you are free to go”. Very funny indeed, I do think it’s difficult to know sometimes whether it’s okay to get dressed, what if you do and they weren’t ready with the exam, that would be embarrassing and then they would have to leave so you could undress and put on the gown all over again (would hate to waste their time like that, hashtag “always the people pleaser”). I try to laugh with her, this appointment not going according to plans at all, well at least I have my (and now baby’s too) baby shower to look forward to!!

About jennym

A doctor of psychology and a mother of four writing about the struggles and joys and the ups and downs of motherhood, marriage, pregnancies, deliveries and her absolute love for her children in a humoristic yet down to earth weekly blog!

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