As we are taking baby girl’s 2 months pictures (yes, two months, can you believe it!?) by propping her up against some decorative pillows on the beige suede downstairs living room couch, I can’t help but feeling proud. Proud of her and proud of myself; proud of my whole little family. We are in this together, we are there for one another and we are doing fine! The first few months with a new born is never easy and especially not with our added circumstances but I have a feeling I got a good one!
She is really such a sweetheart and doesn’t seem to struggle with colic and acid reflux like my son did. She is calm and even tempered, only really cries when she is hungry. There lies the problem though…pretty much all the problems are centered around “mealtimes”, they are way to frequent and such a struggle (did not know my boobs could be in so much pain…correction, I did know after the severe trauma they went through with my first kid but that’s why I gave in to bottles, this time around I’m trying to power through) I’m exhausted, add the lack of sleep to that and voila! Hello zombie mom! These are also the issues I bring up to baby’s pediatrician at her 2 months well check appointment on Wednesday. She is so pleased with baby girl’s weight gain that she is kind of ignoring mama’s rant about having to go through my days and nights blurred together without much sleep, the nipple pulling in between steel jaws, the constant worry that baby is not getting enough…or too much. Then there is the yucky vitamins and iron supplements baby hates and the pumping and two different bottles for breast milk and supplement formula and sterilization of bottles (even if it’s much easier now with the sterilizer than boiling them in a big pot like we have been doing). There is also the analyzing baby poop (didn’t think I would do that again the second time around…totally doing it), the worry about development, (are her movements too jerky? Can she see me at all? Wait was that a smile?… Or just gas? Wait…gas, is she uncomfortable? Should I not sleep with her on top of me even though she doesn’t SLEEP anywhere else?) But most of all it just circles back to the feedings. She is trying so hard at the breast but all that sucking work does not seem to get her enough, only the nipple goes in and milk is leaking out of her mouth, leaving her crying (more like wailing) and me with deformed nipples (ouch!). All the ped is really worried about is the blood platelets (not again!) and the white blood cells in the urine. Before I have time to go into full freak out mommy mode (Google has nothing good to say about this) the doc reassures me that this is common in preemies and will eventually grow away. She will test her in a month and until then I still need to shelter her as much as possible because of baby’s immature and very fragile immune system. I tell my daughter’s doctor that we are flying home to Sweden for my brother’s wedding and as she is facing the computer her body tenses and she makes this face (for those of you who are avid “Sex and the City” fans know what I mean when I reference the face Carrie gets when asked if she is Aiden’s ex-girlfriend…anyhu, not a good face). She is kind of blowing out air and shaking her head (wait does this mean what I’m afraid it does??… But princess will be four months by then, almost to the recommended 3 months adjusted, for flying).
I beg her to give me advice, should I not fly with our girl? She rambles about germy airports, high altitudes and air pressures until I ask her point blank, explaining how important it is for me to be present at my little brother’s-my ONLY brother’s weeding, what are the risks? She tells me “off the record” (not sure what record, the medical one?) the answer; “if it was her child she would not take her”. Yep, that pretty much sums it up right there. I’m blinking back tears but there is no way we can go now. My whole family will get so disappointed. The doctor is quite serious about threats to baby girl’s immune system (not only the no flying), she strongly cautions me to be extra careful. Meaning no grocery stores, play dates, kid birthdays parties OR day care for big brother! Oh uh! Too bad we just paid a full summer tuition at a summer school (highly rated) nearby, planned a playdate in a week, are going to a one year old’s birthday party on Saturday and then are having big brother’s birthday party the following day with tons of kids coming!