She is pretty sure my baby girl is tongue ties- what? You ask, yes you heard me; tongue tied! The problem we already took care of at the hospital, the issue that I had to deal with Dr. W and two different opinionated nurses and lactation specialists over. The procedure that was done without me there because I couldn’t bear to see my tiny infant go through anything like that! I know it’s painful duh! So much blood and no pain? Don’t think so, but I also know it’s worth it, I have done my job on researching this topic, besides the mouth does bleed a lot (cringe). I didn’t do it for my son and even though he seems fine now, we did have to give up on breastfeeding and that still makes me a little sad (there are other issues such as delayed speech that could have been a correlation as well). Anyways, the point is my daughter has already suffered through what specialist say is a quick relatively pain free (hmm) and a very easy, normal, noninvasive (I’ve seen the scissors though) procedure (but they do call it surgical procedure). She did it at only four days old which means she will never ever remember it (oh I know shielding them from future pain is impossible but what is a mother to do but try?) and she was still pretty foggy (with the whole “not supposed to be born yet thing” and all). I don’t think I can survive the whole ripping it open (like the NICU nurse accidentally did to my child) like I’ve read you have to, to make sure it doesn’t re grow; agony! I was so sure the hospital had done the job for me and that is would be smooth sailing from here on, so WRONG.
How excited was I when my second baby seemed interested in MY milk! And the excitement is slowly turning to despair, it is just so DANG hard! Other than that the lactation specialist is super sweet, her husband is actually Swedish she tells me and she has three boys (tried “one more time”…). She is gentle and mellow and not in my face which I really appreciate (trust me, I’m used to the opposite version). I had to cancel with this nurse G who already left me several barking messages about the “fundamental necessity of mother’s milk”. This one is not pressuring me to breastfed and seems understanding of the obstacles we are going through, which might seem like nothing down the line (“you won’t have this problem when she starts school”) but are far from nothing when you are in the thick of it! Believe you me, when your baby eats you every hour around the clock, gumming you with steel jaws and screams in frustration when she doesn’t get enough (is a preemie who needs to gain weight…just thought I would throw that in there) and you are so tired you feel like you might actually go insane or completely black out or BOTH, then we can talk girlfriend!
So this nice lactation chick identifies all the classical symptoms of a tie, clicking, leaking, pain, frustration etc, confirming my fear that the hospital cut must have re-grown. She is not helping me with the actual nursing other than a few tricks (positions) and a positive attitude because everything she says is basically common sense and momma logic but she does say I can e-mail her with questions (boy, is she gonna eat her words).
With the conviction that both baby and I will get some much needed sleep (her due to a fuller belly and mama due to absence of a steel biting alien child), I make the frenulum procedure appointment with my baby’s pediatrician. She did say that she was trained to do it at our last visit and she is nice, knows the baby and I trust her (as much as you can…right?). I feel extremely nervous about it and go back and forth all week. It’s the day before and I actually feel physically sick debating whether or not I’m doing the right thing. Little do I know that the procedure will be the least of my worries the following day, because that night baby turns devastatingly ill…