kidney infection, researching mama and breastfeeding fixers

I do have to take my little daughter in to the doctors’ every day, my son doesn’t get his “wish” to come though. I try to get the sitter to come or to coordinate with my husband because I need to be there for my baby right now and I don’t want my son to get scared about what they are doing to his baby sister (and loose his excitement about doctors’ visits).

The week crawls by slowly in a haze of worry and doctors’ appointments. My poor baby is poked and prodded more times when I care to think about. Everybody sufferers, my son doesn’t get the attention he should get; the attention he needs. I pretty much suck as a mom and the TV and iPad get to be babysitters more than I would ever like to admit. I don’t think I even shower that week (but I do change clothes, I promise…at least underwear) and dry shampoo is yet again my best friend (like it was during my hospital bed rest). My husband is forced to come home at a reasonable hour and at least take our son off my hands as much as possible. I have to go in to the doctor every single day, even during the weekend, with our princess and her vitals are still bad and the fever is better but not gone.

It is confirmed that she has a severe kidney infection and if this happens again, she had to have her kidneys checked. I remembered what I read about underdeveloped kidneys in babies born premature due to their mother’s preterm premature rupture of membranes, PPROM, and even though the pediatrician AND the urologist urge me not to worry since my baby will most likely be just fine, I can’t help it. She is not even 3 months old and her life so far hasn’t been the easiest (I know some babies have it way harder obviously, but now all I can do is focusing on MY baby) yet she has the sunniest disposition. She is so gentle and sweet it makes my heart ache for her when she is hurting.

She has to switch penicillin because the first one is clearly not working. She loses 11 ounces which is not ideal (good thing she loves her mama’s milk; too bad it’s such a struggle to feed her). My little baby is a shaky, hot, pale, shivering mess. She has diarrhea in addition to the fever and throws up multiple times a day, from the fever they explain. By day five on antibiotics (in addition to the three brutal shots at the doctor’s office) her fever is finally down.

My girl is now exclusively breastfed, (no more bottles) we reached our goal, too bad the journey doesn’t end here (I feed her all the time and when I say “all the time”, I mean ALL THE TIME!!) Her frustration and my pain at the breast is starting to wear thin. After giving her a bath (washing away the last of the illness) I snuggle her close in the same rocking chair I rocked her brother in. She still has that newborn smell and she loves being close to her mommy, it’s easy to feel that if only the feedings would work, everything would be perfect.

I love her so much, it’s hard to know what’s right. I know clipping her tongue is a small thing, a small decision in the grand scheme of things. I decided ones that this was best for her; for us (even if I’m willing to suffer, I don’t want her to struggle while eating and to be constantly hungry, missing sleep as a result), I can do it again. Since I made my last appointment for the procedure however, I have read that letting your baby’s pediatrician perform the procedure is not the right way to go. I research the topic until I read, sleep and eat “tongue tied clipping” and “scissor vs. laser”. You can have a special pediatrician do it, an ENT or a dentist. There is the next problem; whom to choose? I talk it over endlessly with my husband and mom comparing procedures, pros and cons and providers. I join even more groups on social media to discuss the issue even more with other moms. I narrow it down to two candidates, a laser dentist and a scissor pediatrician, who are both highly recommended, experts in the field, have years of experience and four stars on all my forums, social media groups and even on Yelp. The ped has a reputation of being a bit rough but extremely fast and effective (not liking rough or the “extreme” aftercare policy) that is why I start with the gentler dentist.

It is almost July, where did June go? (And for that matter, what happened to February, March, April and May?) , it’s extremely hot outside (not that I have noticed, spending most of my time inside. Our son is in summer school (which safes my sanity but might not be good because of the germs he may bring home). Our girl is 11 weeks old. I need to get an appointment to fix her tied tongue if that’s what I want to do because time is of the essence. The older the babies are, the more they can feel the pain, is what I’ve heard, but I’m sure it’s more a matter of being older and more aware of the “experience”.

Since the wait time is two months for the dentist, that seem like years of misery especially now that I have decided and everyone is on board, (besides I see it as a sign; with him you may have to go back and re-do the procedure more than ones- H no!!) so I pick up the phone and call the pediatric specialist in tongue ties, aka the “breastfeeding fixer”, (rough may be bad but fast and effective certainly aren’t) you are not going to believe who answers the phone…

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About jennym

A doctor of psychology and a mother of four writing about the struggles and joys and the ups and downs of motherhood, marriage, pregnancies, deliveries and her absolute love for her children in a humoristic yet down to earth weekly blog!

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