Counting my blessings

As it nears baby’s first birthday we have to go back and see the “blood doctor” again. I’m dreading the appointment and can’t sleep at all the night before. Our girl is supposed to get tested for various blood disorders that aren’t as common, and since they will take quite a bit of blood, she will have to weigh a certain amount.

The day before, they call from the hematology department to not only confirm the appointment but to also let me know that since they are planning to take large amounts of blood and don’t know how baby will react they want to admit her to the hospital and keep her at least all day. Wait, what??

They can’t spring this on a mama like this. First of all it makes me terrified and second of all I don’t have all day child care for my son. There is over an hour discrepancy between after preschool and the time our nanny can get to our house. Quite the dilemma amongst the worry for the baby. I can obviously not bring big brother to the hospital. I consider calling some friends or grandparents but they either have enough with their own kids or are working. Husband can absolutely not cancel a client the day before and I can’t reschedule the doctor’s appointment the day before. I can’t believe how they just changed things up like this last minute.

Luckily (which might be the wrong word in this situation) I offer to pay our nanny double so that she will skip her class and come down. I do feel bad about that-both her class and the money (kidding, the money is worth solving this situation but education is important!).

The morning of, I’m a nervous wreck. Even parking in the children’s hospital’s parking garage gives me goosebumps (and not the pleasant kind) and almost traumatic flashbacks. I hate this place. Any place with sick children suck! And this hematology department might get the “suckiest place ever medal”. As we wait in the waiting room, nursing, munching on crackers, playing with baby toys (at least one of us is oblivious) I hear things I do not want to hear ever. My heart cries for these parents and these children. How do you ever get used to this, the illness, the diagnoses, the procedures, the doctors, the smells, this place of doom? Just dreadful- like I said the suckiest place ever!

All that worry, that angst and then baby girl doesn’t weight enough to even take the tests and draw the blood. I’m only temporary relieved since we have to come back and do them once she has gained enough.
We talk to the doctor (who is very sweet-the one who really takes time both to listen and answer) about the fact that baby really hasn’t bled since the time she wouldn’t stop bleeding. She just has never gotten hurt like that. Her regular shots have all been fine except for that one finger prick which resulted in abnormal amounts of bleeding (but the lab nurse could have messed up). She also has bled slightly with teething and nosebleeds with colds but not enough to cause immediate concern. Unfortunately we can’t go home feeling any better because the doctor still can’t rule out a blood disorder and we can’t put a name on what happened to her that awful day, about nine months ago.

I’m just glad to leave this place, cancel the nanny, take my baby girl to pick up her brother and go home! My parents arrive and the weather is hot, hot, hot (close to unbearable and it’s crazy because it’s only March and they land from snow). Our boy is beyond excited to see them, especially since grandpa “mofa” is here too!

Grandpa takes the time to read and play while I get to talk to mom, plan my special princess her extra special  princess party and go shopping (and oh yeah, grandma also cooks, tidies up our whole house, decorates and does everyone’s laundry, you know might be worth mentioning).

I have planned for my parents to take a wine tour (an old Christmas gift) up in wine country, check out new restaurants while also introduce my dad to his only grandson’s preschools, Swedish school and our everyday life! (Grandma knows it all by now). We also have time for a trip to Legoland as well as a couple of museums (natural history one a big hit with grandpa and the dinosaurs his grandson’s absolute favorite), stores and parks.

Baby’s first year well check with the doctor confirms that she is tiny. She has fallen off “the regular weight scale” and right back on the preemie one. Developmentally she is also testing about two months behind. I’m not that worried though, I’m just happy that she is doing as well as she is. She is eating a lot, she is happy and healthy and curious and sassy yet sweet! A complete love bug who has now learned how to kiss (wrapping us even tighter around her little finger).

A couple of days before the big party my sister flies in. I’m beyond excited, I haven’t seen her since I was on bed rest and she hasn’t met our wonderful baby and her Goddaughter. I can’t wait to introduce the two.

We have planned a perfect couple of days with some first grade girl shopping, some old town sightseeing, funny movies and tons of snacks, laughter and wine (not too much of the last one for me due to breastfeeding which is actually totally worth the abstaining-who would have thought?).

The party is a big success, princess Belle comes to visit and our favorite girl loves her cake and her gifts (especially the cake). I feel surrounded by supportive family and friends and can’t help to once again count my blessings.

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About jennym

A doctor of psychology and a mother of four writing about the struggles and joys and the ups and downs of motherhood, marriage, pregnancies, deliveries and her absolute love for her children in a humoristic yet down to earth weekly blog!

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