So, okay, she is here, the mom who barely knows anyone, who comes to your house for the very first time and still somehow feels entitled to complain…and to tell me how to do things differently. She even pulls me aside, giving me ideas on how to “organize” the platters of food and snacks in a different way, letting me know that the ice is melting in the outside ice chest “ALREADY” and informing me that my son is not listening to her son’s stories about a recent trip they took…(apparently our boy is being rude and he should absolutely stop and listen). It is also “too bad about the weather being so cold”, “what an absolute shame…”.
She is the first one to arrive (and last one to leave, naturally), she doesn’t like the potty in the bathroom (eh, que?), she wants to start snacking right away (even from the “weirdly” placed platters), rooming around our pantry and fridge in search for…? Giving her precious son cookies as she put her enormous handbag and light cardigan on the kitchen island amongst our “artful” display of toy dinosaurs, decorations and goodies.
Then all of a sudden she wants to “steal me away” to organize play dates over the summer as more and more guests arrive.
Guest I actually want there, whom I want to talk to – my friends and supportive people who appreciate my efforts with the party and are there to celebrate my son!
I was pretty excited to see our little boy so happy about his party and frankly I worked my “you know what” off to plan it and pull it off so…not exactly thrilled about this loud mouthed lady coming into our house “sharing” her opinions.
We had told the gardener to (for a small fortune) make the yard look nice for the party the day before, which included picking up are dog’s poop! Since she is a dog (you know how they work, right!?) she probably went once or twice between then and now so right before the party I ask my husband to do a “sweep” over the lawn. He said he found one small pile which he did (not happily but still) pick up! Problem solved, right?
Okay, so I know, nobody wants to step in dog poo at a party (or ever) and I agree the lawn should not be full of it…But will you believe it this woman who is a mom (to some kid my kid apparently plays with) from preschool searched high and low to find some. Yelling and screaming how it’s “unsanitary” and “the poor, poor kids”! Announcing it loudly to the world.
Of course I’m embarrassed, I asked my husband to specifically search the whole yard for it but as he picks it up, it’s on the other side of the house by the garage and the air conditioning units (basically not in any place any kid should be anyways) and nowhere near where the party is. Okaaay! I almost feel sorry for our large gentle yet clumsy and goofy dog currently trapped in the garage; she probably innocently did her “business” before being banned to the garaged” when all she wanted was to join the party (a real party animal that one).
Not even minutes later we hear a frantic cry (of the bad kind). I instantly turn stiff and nervously worried, realizing someone must have gotten seriously hurt…