Oh, he is hearing alright!, listening is another story…

It’s starts with little man being kicked out of his classroom at Swedish school (the first one to be escorted out ever…I highly doubt that). He was wrestling with one of his little buddies (who also has “ants in his pants”) and I guess it escalated to the point where the teacher couldn’t handle the situation anymore (despite having extra help in the room).

He always gets so surprised when he gets into trouble (maybe I’m not being strict enough with him…maybe no one really is…?). He tells me he loves me (leans in an whispered…gets hard to focus on being strict then…) and asks to go to the playground…!

Well, no my friend, you are in a time-out here.

I get disappointed in myself for not “teaching” him better, for not being a better mom I guess, it’s also slightly embarrassing and I really don’t feel like being “that mom”. Sometimes I feel like I don’t understand my highly active and absolutely adorable son (heart of gold that one) and that makes it even worse, I should understand him completely, right? Isn’t that like the headline of the “mommy handbook”? We are just so different (are you even allowed to compare yourself to a four year old boy?). I was such a calm, easy child, never any trouble (that’s right, just ask my mama!), but instead my mom had to push me to be more active, to try new (and more) things.

Every child is different (and how boring would it be otherwise?) I don’t mean to fill you with pointless clichés here but the point IS I try my best (as much as I can and know how).  I try with him and it’s extra difficult because he is such a sweetheart, always means well and gets misunderstood on a regular basis. Sometimes I think he is just too smart for his own good (and for the rest of us). Because smart he is and its driving me nuts when he outsmarts his mama (who just happens to be a doctor of psychology).

I also get disappointed that my son failed to listen, that he didn’t seem to respect his teacher and that it had to result in him sitting out and missing part of the swedish lesson. But he also just turned 4 and it’s sometimes difficult for him to concentrate and behave according to what is expected, especially in the afternoon after a long day at school. I don’t think he is alone in that and after the class I was actually told that other little boys were riled up, running and easily distracted and disruptive as well (which oddly makes me feel slightly better…is that super bad?).

On Tuesday our son has his 4-year well check-up at the doctors (it feels like we haven’t taken him for a well-check in forever…well, a year to be exact). He simply won’t sit still and I have a bouncy one year old on my hands who wants to explore and practice walking (she is so close now). He fails his hearing test by not understanding  the directions (and it’s not like I can tell him when to raise his hand for a sound in the headphones). The male nurse (love him, he is so great with the kids and he has been through a lot with us- always happy when we are coming in NOT sick) asks if he might not be hearing. “Oh, he is hearing alright!, listening is another story…”.

The doctor is not satisfied with his height progress percentage wise and she will also need to send him to a specialist because of his vomiting (he will do this randomly, not due to being sick but due to being excited or upset, after running and playing hard, coughing or swallowing big bites…hopefully its just an oversensitive gag reflex…).

He is not making the interaction with our pediatrician easy either, he keeps “dodging” her questions by talking about dinosaurs and asking her about sharks instead! (But that’s pretty typical for his age…am I right?). I know that he knows this stuff so it’s so frustrating! ABCs and counting to ten, the kid knows it in TWO languages with bonus points for three extra letters in one and… make that twenty!
I tell the slightly distraught doctor watching my sons antics that “yes, he knows the answers to all of your questions” (almost) and “yes, of course he has the ability to sit still, to pay attention and concentrate” (ehm…he is just 4…and a boy…with a lot of energy…besides he is a carbon copy of his father…so there you go). She comforts me by telling me these are just standard questions and that he seems absolutely fine, like a normal, creative, curious, (and yes active) four year old little boy!

No one can resist his charm in the end. P11

The rest of the week includes a fall, two annoying playground visits,  a  beheaded animal and a demanding, screaming baby turned “terrible toddler” in a week.

Yesterday we finally get to go to the park to enjoy Sweden’s National Day together with some song, “fika” (swedish traditional “coffee and a snack and/or cookies) and then this happens…

About jennym

A doctor of psychology and a mother of four writing about the struggles and joys and the ups and downs of motherhood, marriage, pregnancies, deliveries and her absolute love for her children in a humoristic yet down to earth weekly blog!

2 responses to “Oh, he is hearing alright!, listening is another story…

  1. sign4baby

    My youngest was kicked out of preschool mid year before entering Kindergarten…. it was a headache and I felt ashamed but the truth is that the time at home before we placed him in a new preschool did him well. Your son being a super active boy reminds me of how my Owen was…. er… still is! He’s 6 now and it has gotten a little more tame but seriously compared to all the other kids he just seems to be firing on 100 cylinders when everyone else is going on maybe 10 haha!


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