Quite Chaotic

Thanksgiving comes and goes in that rushed end of the year frenzy. I’m feeling calm and happy and yes, since you ask; just a little bit glowing!
I’m reaching the middle of this journey and can’t believe I made it this far and hoping that the worst is behind me; that from now on it will be an “easy” (never is, is it?) “normal” (ha), healthy adventure!

I feel hopeful and joyful and although life has taught me to be cautious I’m also allowing myself to think that maybe what people say is true; the third IS the easy one!

I feel grounded in the life plan (gift from above!?) to have another child and I feel better about my ability to do this with the help of my family and support of my friends. Yes, it will be difficult and yes I don’t have much help but I finally feel like I landed in the feeling that I can do this and that everything will be okay- good even. Kids are challenging but they are also quite awesome (I’m glad you didn’t ask me during my first trimester). I’m starting a better routine for my children and myself and start planning for a stricter (!) schedule for after the holidays and for the new year! Darling daughter will have to get a functional bedtime routine, a “big girl bed” and she will also have to sleep in it…alone…and all through the night!
Darling son will have to start eating FOOD…with real utensils…at meal times…
And drink out of a BIG boy cup (aka real glass…is anyone else out there tired of sippy cups!?)
Those are just examples and tip of the iceberg but you have to start somewhere!

Yes I know I will simultaneously have a kindergartener, a terrible two “potty trainer” AND a newborn (how is that for a plan)…so what?!? It will all be fine because it WILL- because it HAS to.

Jump forward from those very “small” concerns to the real stuff; my 20 week’s ultrasound!

My sister came as a wonderful birthday wish for a long weekend. Too bad we had to squish in some less than wonderful shoots (not the fun kind- the long needle kind) with some very unfriendly side effects (don’t ask…) and the big anatomy scan.
We are also currently in a state of chaos because someone decide to randomly put our house on the market just to “see what happens” (well we have a PLAN …sort of…) in the middle of pregnancy, a major trip to Sweden, CHRISTMAS and with two kiddos and a dog! You have no idea the work it entails to make your house ready for photos and a “virtual tour” as well as open houses! We have lived here over five years of puppyhood, babyhood, toddlerhood and preschool…eh hood!? After all…

It is a very very nice house but still the little fixes and to schedule them in the midst of cleaning, sorting and throwing while planning, hosting and attending holiday parties, dinners and functions is less than ideal. Did I tell you darling husband is out of town during this ?! Noo?? Well our planning is impeccable isn’t it! Did I also mention the trip to another continent?…and that I’m pregnant with worries such as preeclampsia, UTIs and “fluid level issues”. Yes, well okay… Maybe now you get it!? At least kind of/sort of!

Anyways I do my very best to welcome my sister “auntie” with open arms as do my children who are delighted that she is here for some fun and snuggle time. Little girl is finally ready for other arms to hold her (no more “only mommy” which is totally bittersweet) and little boy is an excited ball of energy (what else is new). We laugh, we eat and we do get some sister time to just re-connect, talk and be us which is quite amazing and totally worth the short trip (hopefully for both of us) in the middle of all the “life stuff” (we do use her as a sitter, drag her to doctor’s appointments and even to look at a house).

I’m worried about this big ultrasound, especially since no one can come with me and I feel vulnerable somehow doing it alone (I mean even my husband attended my other ones because this is the big important one where they check that everything is really okay! And sis who I would have loved to bring has to watch the kids who are not under any circumstances allowed…hmm) but shouldn’t have any reasons to. They have never seen anything (other than “IT”) before and my fluid level has been acceptable and cervix length good (again, if you don’t get it- no need to ask for clarification…no really!)
I still go in slightly anxious about it all but at the same time preoccupied with my sister being here, a house we are about to look at with great potential and all the holiday stuff (loving this time of year). Not preparing for anything our of the ordinary really…

Unfortunately it isn’t the underlying fears for what could show up at the ultrasound (as not seeing certain features or body parts clearly as my daughter’s spine or the fluid being too low) but something extremely unexpected- something a lot different…

About jennym

A doctor of psychology and a mother of three writing about the struggles and joys and the ups and downs of motherhood, marriage, pregnancies, deliveries and her absolute love for her children in a humoristic yet down to earth weekly blog!

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