“Big” trouble ending with a splash!!!

I do NOT have a third one over the weekend and the nurses are quite surprised as I show up waddling my big belly over to the ultrasound room and then stress test area on Tuesday morning. I’m about to be 37 weeks pregnant and today I get to see one of the senior partners (one of the doctors that started this clinic) who I saw once before when he was telling me about the horrifying “marker” my baby had. Just seeing him brings back that uneasy feeling that usually lingers in the back of my mind, what if something is really wrong with our baby?
Something that can’t be fixed.
Something that would alter all of our lives forever…

After he performs his own ultrasound I get other things to think about however …

He asks whether my doctor has performed an internal exam and if so ever addressed my pelvic bone structure?
Hm, not really…

As previously mentioned, my doctor hasn’t been wanting to do any internal exams lately in order to leave me alone and not stir things up! I’m also strep B positive which could easily transfer to my baby. Even if she checked me on Friday she was really careful not to break the water (or make any possible rip or tear worse) or in any other way rush my labor. In her mind I could already be in labor and the shots were the only thing prolonging it.

I told the doctor in front of me all of this but he seemed to brush it all off. He certainly has both charm and bedside (literally) manners this one (unlike his very rude colleague, do you remember the other partner I had the joy of seeing after another major ultrasound? yes the one with zero manners whatsoever…). This one keeps telling me I’m awesome and beautiful and amazing, but in between all of those positives he tells me that he suspects that I have a very narrow pelvic.

Wait a minute, I have certainly heard that I am narrow before, but thought it had to do with my “tilted uterus” (I know, I’m a complete mess!). As I was giving birth to my first born and unable to push him out, the nurse kept telling me (or the whole room in general) that I was way too narrow (gee thanks…?)

The doctor assisting my first delivery (who also was quite rude…but quite possibly saved mine and baby’s life I’m right now finding out) gave me three pushes to get the baby out. I couldn’t do it, as a first time mom after three hours of pushing, I was beyond exhausted, I just couldn’t do it. I remember thinking sadly “I suck at this labor thing”.
They ended up vacuuming him out…and breaking his collarbone…

Now this doctor right here is saying that all of that was a GOOD thing…that that doctor did the RIGHT thing, simply because my pelvic bone was (is) too narrow to get baby (ies) out. He now fears with a full time baby bigger (possibly way bigger) than the other two I might be in “big” trouble (baby is already measuring over 7 lbs).

In the midst of all his “you are amazing and beautiful” he turns very serious saying that delivering a baby this much bigger vaginally might have devastating outcomes. My pelvic bone might break putting me in a wheelchair unable to walk (or take care of my kids…and everything else) for a very long time, possibly life! The baby might be deformed, have what is called shoulder dystocia, having a shoulder permanently dislocated or worse…
Or you know baby might die…

Okay, this is so NOT what I expected at this appointment. Bring on low fluids or even labor but a “forced” Cesarian?

I feel overwhelmed, disoriented and slightly dizzy. In this pregnancy it feels like if it’s not one thing, it’s another. I thought I had to deal with the high blood pressure, racing pulse and leaking water and then the terribly frightening marker…but major surgery? Not so much!
It was never even discussed.

I call my husband from the car. “It is a surgery where they take out your inner organs (and then hopefully putting them back…in the right place) for crying out loud! What do I do here?”

My mom is in shock as I come home with the news. Obviously we don’t want to pick surgery this late in the game and change all our delivery plans because of the advice of a doctor who isn’t even mine. BUT we don’t want to risk the complications that now all of a sudden seem plausible either. It sounds like this doctor has some very valid points and concerns. I tell my mom about the red flags that he mentioned; me pushing for over three hours with my first (still unable to get him out), the need to use the “vacuum” and the baby’s broken clavicle (collarbone). We discuss everything and decide together that we are not willing to take the risk of a vaginal delivery. I don’t want to break…and more importantly, I don’t want to break my baby!
Most of my friends with kids have actually had c-sections and made it out okay, despite the longer recovery time.
My last OBGYN considered the risks of me being too narrow during my last pregnancy. My daughter was after all a scheduled c-section before everything changed…

I call the doctor back since my own doctor is on vacation. I tell him that I talked everything over with my husband and with my mom and some close friends as well. We want to play it “safe: er” and schedule the surgery!

He says he has revised the notes from my first delivery and he can’t “ethically” or “medically” recommend a Caesarian because the risks are always higher BUT he adds “if it was my sister or wife I would advice the c-section”

Well then…its scheduled for the very day I turn 39 weeks. Let the worry and the wait begin…

But then I get a phone call…which ends with a splash!!!


About jennym

A doctor of psychology and a mother of four writing about the struggles and joys and the ups and downs of motherhood, marriage, pregnancies, deliveries and her absolute love for her children in a humoristic yet down to earth weekly blog!

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