The Opposite Years!

Anybody who has a two (something) year old can probably relate…

Even if your two year old is the nicest, sweetest, calmest (fill in the positive adjective) kid-it’s still hard- because the drastic ups and downs just come with the age.

Any parent who says differently, is probably lying, and probably battle behind closed doors, because I refuse to believe that a(n always) well behaved 2 (something) year old exists.

I know it is hard to be a two (and three) year old. I have read all the research. Even the claims that “it is harder for them, than for you” (I seriously DOUBT that by the way), that they are learning and trying to figure out life and the (big, big world). What is socially acceptable, expected and needed from them (and then doing the complete opposite of course), their brain neurons jumping and spinning, making new bridges and connections.

MY two (something) year old has the perfect life to everyone BUT him (quite the little pessimist-you know when he is not the ultimate optimist of course).

This two something year old is not the first one that I have raised, but every time they hit the (in)famous “terrible two” stage I’m in complete and utter shock yet again. Was it really THIS bad??

I baffle as this little tiny (and very bossy) person completely disregard my every request, demand, suggestion, and thought (before I even say it out loud).

Any ideas (no matter how nice) gets shut down. You try to trick them, whispering, pleading, keeping your voice nice and sugary (to absolutely no avail). Then raising your voice, begging, negotiating- (which by the way is IMPOSSIBLE with a two year old), then find yourself hysterically screaming out of your mind mad (and probably late to go somewhere very important)…

And then you feel bad, because you know, you just got (crazy) mad at the cutest lil boy ever (this blond curls alone…)

When you are nice (and smugly think you are super mom in that moment), it backfires, when you are mean (and frankly ashamed of your parenting skills) , it backfires.

You just CANNOT win!!!

This sweet, gentle, chubby baby who loved you with his entire being has turned into a disrespectful, disobedient (taller) leaner “baby” that is frankly (lets be honest here) a monster… over night.

You knew it was coming, you been waiting for it but somehow you thought it would not happen…

At least not as bad as the last time, because you know how could it possibly be??

This baby you think, is particularly sweet and angelic- he couldn’t possibly be as bad as the rest, could he…?

Everybody called him the “perfect baby”, and he used to depend on and need you so much. Now everything you do is “not good enough”.

This tiny kid is controlling and manipulate you. You are no longer the boss of your house, your household, your sanity, your time, your plans…your anything…

You are no longer the boss of YOU.

This little brat with a diapered butt and a sippy cup is dictating your life.

No matter how independent, strong, powerful, empowered etc you are (mom power!!) – it’s no match to the two (something) year old!

What happened to my baby boy??

It sneaks up on you too, because it happens gradually.

It’s not like your angel baby turns 2 and turns into a monster child. The transition happens in stages BUT it does seem like you put your lovey squishy beau to bed one night and the next morning you get a hateful little nay sayer.

Truthfully, for me, I don’t think the worst year is from 2-3, it is for sure the 2.5-3.5 year that could only be described as living hell…

Or what I like to call the opposite year(s). Years because they are probably not over until they turn 4 (2-4). Again it happens gradually.

Opposite boy want to do everything you tell him not to, and this kid is too smart for the whole “reverse psychology BS” (even though it occasionally works- DON’T put your seatbelt on I yell, don’t eat your food I warn, run with scissors I encourage; JUST KIDDING on that last one).

The constant ups and down are making my head spin (and even if daddy is the hero/favorite right now he is struggling just as much with this glorious stage of toddlerhood and parenting).

He can still be oh so sweet, cuddly and adorable, still my cute baby boy BUT then he will scream at me in a sudden and unreasonable fit of anger- about anything from the wrong colored fork, wanting mismatched shoes (a boot and a flip flop anyone?!) the exact grape I just ate, or wanting to wear sister’s Elsa dress to school drop off…

Pick your battle-my theme song!

Two something year olds also have a sixth sense for when you are weak, stressed, sick or busy with one of the other kids…then they attack (going for your most vulnerable spot). I’m going mental I’m telling you…

Mine can manipulate his poor parents with his potty habits (or lack there of) and eating habits (which seem to be lacking all together). Is it so bad of us to want to keep this kid ALIVE??

Consider also all the fighting with siblings, the MINE, mine mine and the biting and throwing…

With the baby, the preschooler and the first grader too, we have an interesting life right now to say the least…(I know I know- what were we thinking??)

And then we have all the dangers. Refusing a jacket in below freezing temperatures, talking to strangers, throwing himself out of the stroller, running down slippery stairs, climbing on chairs, and tables and bookshelves… or worse running out into a busy parking lot or unlocking the front door and running out into the street (determined to succeed but luckily has been stopped at every mission but it is EXHAUSTING!!)

And try traveling INTERNATIONALLY with a two a half year old for some REALLY hilarious fun (read: suicide mission).

Looking at my adorable last baby-I can imagine him being a horrible behaving 2 something year old… But I know he will be…and SOON..

The mommy power wears off at the end of a seemingly endless day so when you try to crawl to bed at 11pm after the dishes are done, and the lunch (and snack) boxes are packed, and the kitchen cleaned up, and the student’s essays corrected, you realize you have been locked out of your own bedroom by a toddler in diapers…

Love you my sweet lil opposite man!

May you grow up a lil slower but at the same time, please hurry up and turn 4!!!

About jennym

A doctor of psychology and a mother of four writing about the struggles and joys and the ups and downs of motherhood, marriage, pregnancies, deliveries and her absolute love for her children in a humoristic yet down to earth weekly blog!

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