Next stop kindergarten- part 1

Yes my son is starting kindergarten, he is starting school. I mean real school, actual school- School School (I know, I know you get it). It feels big and he is not ready…okay I’m not ready. How could I be? And clearly he is not either. He is just a baby!

My parents have just left and we are running around like crazy, trying to get last minute things done. I order an extra nice backpack online (worrying if it’s nice ENOUGH or if dinosaurs are geeky or interesting or gulp; childish…?) the one my son really wants. I go out and get a tall star wars water bottle because that is what the “instructions” say “tall water bottle”- not Star Wars of course-but that’s cool…right? And so IN with the kids right now…(said no cool mom ever…)

Our first born is excited, but a little apprehensive too I can tell (or is it all my nerves?).

I leave the two oldest with the nanny and grab the baby and a trusted friend (who has done this all before) to go “back to school shopping”. The list is about a mile long of stuff and school supplies not only for your kid, but for other kids as well and the classroom…and entire school (and you know basically the whole community). I have never had to do this before (and can’t believe all parents do this…and I heard it gets “worse” the older your kid gets). I’m confused as well-what the heck is a 3 ring binder? A size what? double huh? , an A1 pencil a quadruple something something? This is not as straight forward as you might think, if you know what I’m getting at. Thank goodness I have help-I have to return half the stuff and go for round two (and here I thought I was doing pretty well).

I take all three kids clothes shopping (oh the absolute joy!). I want brands that are trendy enough, that says “we care about what we wear…but not too much”. “We are in the know…but you know very laid back”. “We are not cheap but not careless with money…not tacky or thoughtless but not wasteful and spoiled…not”…ah you get it by now!
This is exhausting!!! Not that I’m spending that MUCH time, energy, thought…or you know money! It not like I’m trying to impress anyone, no way…or am I?

We are new here, new house, new neighborhood, brand new location and school for all of us. Even though I care way less than I used to (it’s an ongoing struggle), I do care you know, a little bit…or less…more like a sliver. But who doesn’t want to be accepted and even we’ll liked? I mean my son now of course… And have to admit, I desperately want them to like him!
But it could only help to have (a super cool…who of course doesn’t use the phrase “super”…which was “super cool” back in the 90s where I come from) a well-like mom!

The “meet and great” with the class doesn’t go great. I feel like the kids are taller and more advanced than him (but come on they are supposed to be five…aren’t they?). I can tell he is trying though, because he is extra silly trying to make the other kids laugh and it’s not that is doesn’t work but it’s not like it does either…which makes my mommy heart so sad. I didn’t exactly help him, like my plan was either. I may have laid it on a little too thick with the cheeriness (remember, I was the mom being called rude by the preschool moms…I’m trying here). Except when cheeriness is not your “normal” (come on, I’m pretty happy and sweet) it come of a little…strange. Wait is that MY laugh? I don’t do fake…

I actually feel like the other moms seem nice. At least most of them (it’s like I’m waiting for someone to yell “just kidding, we don’t like your fake smile or your childish son”). They don’t seem snobby or stuck-up like I have been warned. Most of them have older kids and some of them have several (older kids in the same school). Two of them strike me as warm and genuine-they ask about the baby and talk about how happy he is and marvel over how my two year old was a preemie and now looks closer to three (yep: I used the preemie card-so sue me!). It’s just myself and two other moms who have “oldests” starting school. One seems friendly…the other not as much.

On the other hand one  of the boys is already making fun of my boy’s height (all in good fun, I’m sure…) and he gets pushed roughly down the slide by another one (right in front of me…but again they are all laughing-including my son). But just in case they don’t love him now- I know he can hold his own and that his sweetness and quirkiness will win them all over in the end.

I feel left out by the snack table (hey, I know it’s not about me…) with my little baby in the carrier and my bouncy two year old in hand. I feel like the other moms are already forming clicks. I’m running out of cheeriness, but at least my son seem to have found a friend (at least someone to talk to).

By the end of the meet and greet my boy actually begs to leave-well kid, I hear you, I’m exhausted too! We just can’t wait for school to start on Monday!!

 

Kid bullies, bare bottoms and broken lips…

Chaos erupts! My sister is calling to tell her nephew “happy birthday” so I put her on speaker (as he struggles to speak to her in Swedish) and I’m trying to overhear so I can “translate”. There are a couple of other kids in the indoor play area and one of them just doesn’t seem to be able to leave the baby alone. He pushes her and pinches her- she doesn’t cry (being used to her big brother) but seems distressed.

I try to be apart of my sister’s and son’s phone conversation while helping my daughter out but the other toddler does not make it easy. In these situations I always get confused (and a little upset), do I scold someone else’s child (he is being really rough with her and I already said “no, she doesn’t like that” multiple times nicely) or do you talk to the parents?
The mom is just standing there conveniently outside the heavy gate (so great and no “underage kid”- I’m not talking 21 here more like 8…10!? can open it) blatantly ignoring what is going on (even though I have tried to catch her eye…also several times.

I’m forced to remove my little girl from the situation which is not fair since she was having so much fun. She protests loudly (can you blame her…they had “real” books to chew on and lots of big boy toys!). My friend and I launch into a discussion about what you do when another kid is “bullying” (even though they are probably too young for that term) your own?

It is not like we have never been on the other end of this. Both our kids are headstrong and stubborn with at least in my son’s case a little “selfish” (what 3-4 year old child isn’t by the way) personality (me, me, me and mine). I have had my child hit someone, a grown-up, thank goodness (if you are said grown up still traumatized from the gymboree music class for 18 months olds a couple of years ago, I’m terribly sorry) with a big flashlight in the head, I have had him push a baby on the playground for “stealing” his toy, throw sand in someone’s eye because he wanted her toy etc. etc. But I pride myself in at least always always, interrupting, apologizing, sitting him down explaining what he did wrong, having him apologize and ultimately removing him from the situation.

I think my friend and I are on the same page at least until…

Smack!

Ok, my son is off the phone (now there did the cell go?) and on to..

Apparently throwing books on people, more specifically my friend’s sweet daughter. I hate seeing her cry, especially since it’s caused by MY son AND her lip is bleeding. Now this situation is definitely worse. It is so awkward and uncomfortable and sad and unnecessary (unfortunately it happens quite often). We are just lucky we are with friends and my friend is beyond understanding while her daughter is bleeding from her mouth. I apologize for my wild son of course but can’t help to add that I don’t think he meant it (and I don’t think he did, he would never want to hurt his “bestest girl”). His movements are just still so jerky and out of control.

Here comes the “we don’t throw” lecture, on my knees at his eye level. I can tell he is sad but I make him apologize and because he gets upset at me when he does wrong (oh the logic!) he throws another book. I have just about had it (the toddler pushing around my baby girl before seems like an angel in comparison).

I loudly and sternly announce that we are going to the car since he can’t behave. Too bad because we were having such a good time just moments earlier. I can tell he realizes throwing a second book was a bad move (well, good) and he apologizes to “his girl”.

The only problem remaining is the potty situation and as if my son knows that he can add some final drama before we call it a day… He promptly pulls his pants down before he even reaches the restroom (most of the people have left though which is a relief because I know all to well how people can get).

The door is wide open and his pants are around his ankles, trying to show his friend how it’s done! (Coming from a good place). Her lip seems (thankfully) better and she is over that and on to the next adventure of public restrooms. My son proudly announces “his number two” (which my friend confirms). Where am I you ask? Well I’m still inside of the heavy (kid proof) gate trying to find my phone, gather all of our belongings and my screaming baby.

I quickly realize that my son has pulled his pants back up directly after “pottying”, forgetting a step…

Now, where are those “free” wipes?

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 443 other followers

Follow drmamma on WordPress.com
%d bloggers like this: