Pool Parties and Preschool Graduations

The last day of preschool approaches and the “class moms” (including the one that called me rude about a year ago) have organized a graduation party. I was able to get back into their good graces by smiling more (no more bitchy resting face-it IS a thing people!) and by being more chatty, engaged and interested (even though I’m so not..). I got mixed results, but one being, the other moms at least greeted me and would even throw out a random question here and there, and take some interest in my pregnancy and then newborn (not AS interesting since labor went flawlessly…am I’m being mean and bitter now…?) I did it all for darling son of course. But then said “darling son” goes and tells his entire class (12 boys and two girls) about his birthday party and that they are naturally invited each and everyone of them!…except they are not, not one of them. He has apparently told them all the details of his Pirate Pool Party so that the next time his teacher (miss butterfly in the butterfly class…) tells me I’m such and angel for inviting the whole, entire class! (Yep…angel!!!) and the class mom’s twin boys are dancing and screaming “pool party, pool party, pool party” jumping up and down with glee!
I try to get a word in but am very unsuccessful. After the fact – meaning AFTER the party where not one of his preschool class friends attended/were invited (WHAT? I’m not friends with these parents, I don’t know them whatsoever, we have just moved…into another community and our son is moving on to another school in another part of town in the fall…and truly we have enough with a large family and his little Swedish friends! Wait…are you still judging??) I lamely tried to tell the class mom and the teacher as said son said he had the best party EVER (well, that is just awesome…but…) that it was mostly just close family…
“Yes mom was worried because SOO many people were invited so we needed TONS of food, two cakes and lots of stuff…we had like 50 guests…” Ooookay!
Back on the s*it list I’ll tell you!

Our baby boy is already seven weeks and almost two months old, where did the time go? My oldest is now graduating from preschool which I guess it’s pretty big! I can’t believe he starts school next year (even if it’s only kindergarten, we didn’t think he was ready but he has matured so much and has so much language now, maybe it’s just his parents who aren’t ready…). Big boy wears a cap and gown (even if the gown is just a small white sheet…or hmm table cloth, with a hole for the head). First ceremony of many, it’s a little silly I know but I actually like this kind of silly, I like how Americans embrace celebrations and (sometimes) go over the top, and as I look around the church at this, my sons preschool graduation, I sob with the best of them (to my defense you not only get extra emotional while pregnant but also while breastfeeding!…google it! The struggle is real). The whole family dresses up so nicely and we are immensely proud of our boy-even if he does keep his head down, starring at the ground both as he walks in and out, shouts in the microphone and keeps asking his teacher what he is suppose to say (instead if answering questions about his favorite things to do at preschool etc ” WHAT DO I LIKE AGAIN?” .

This preschool graduation party at a nearby park went “so-so” if you know what I mean. I was “politely” told not to breastfeed so close to the kids, completely ignored after having answered the question where our son would attend kindergarten, and got many eye rolls for various things. I even overheard some moms taking behind my back about how I think I am “all that” “, so catty and also so not true!

I wouldn’t even care (I truly evolved in that department…from caring what EVERYONE thought…) if it didn’t affect my son. Even kids this young pick up on these things…
I even have the audacity to ask one of the moms to keep an eye on my oldest while I change a particularly bad toddler diaper in the park’s bad excuse for a restroom while my infant hangs low from the baby carrier as I try to wipe and change his sister (not the easiest task mind you). Even though my 5-year old is in the same spot where I left him (unfortunately being a little rough with other boys, at least they are being rough right back) I still get more eye rolls.

As we leave the class mom with her mom pose yell out that they will probably never see us again now that we moved on to (dripping with sarcasm here) “bigger and better things”…
If my get away was smooth it might have been a good wrap up, but of course I have to stump my big toe on a picnic table (it freaking hurt) and then as I drive away I go completely over the high curb with my big new SUV…(very smooth)  Oh well, the kids thought it was cool (even if I almost had a heart attack and thought I hit something at the loud thump)…

We have such a long, fun summer planned ahead. Even if I know it will be a lot with a newborn and my husband’s busy, hectic work schedule meaning I will be alone with all three kids a lot, I know we will enjoy having those special moments together..

Put some sunshine into that sharing bag!

And then school starts! I’m always secretly hoping that our son will get a teacher who will understand him, how smart and witty and gentle and loving he is, but who also will have patience and understanding for his wild side and all that energy!

This year I think, I will be a better preschool parent! I will become more involved, sign up for more stuff, become social with the other mommies, suggest improvements for the school in general and classroom in particular, became a “teacher’s helper mom”, buy the school more supplies, volunteer  my time…yeah you get it!
But I will also have more time for my son, more patience, more energy, more love. I always go into these plans 100% (think daily schedules, pre-packed lunch boxes, researched themes to talk to your preschooler about and “at home after school lesson plans” as well as tons of planned after-school activities and age appropriate floor play time). However…midway through the first semester I somehow loose some of my enthusiasm (who am I kidding, midway through the first day…).

I do have another kid and even though I’m a mommy …I’m also human! (Who are these super moms??, no, really? And how do they do it!?)

Our first day back, the first mom I see is the mom who loudly called me “rude” last semester.
I always try to smile and say “hi” or “good morning” to the other mommies, especially if the kids are in the same class as my son (last year; turtles, this year; butterflies… “Why were we so much cooler last year mama!?”) but sometimes I feel like without even saying anything, I’m lost in translation. Combine my somewhat stiff and uptight Swedish blood (sorry, can’t help it, and I promise I’m way more outgoing than most Swedes still back home) with the fact that I’m not exactly a morning person (let’s tell it like it is, shall we!? I HATE mornings, I loath them, lucky me getting such a morning person of a son- thanks darling husband!) the result can be rather…misinterpreted. But I am trying I really am (and not only the first day but every day…hey we all have good and bad ones).

So a usual (“slightly” hectic morning, arriving “slightly” frazzled) morning last year I go to drop of my son (nursing monster in the baby carrier) and as I push him forward into the classroom after a kiss goodbye, I turn to leave. As the door opens (the bright green “turtle” door) a couple of mommies arrive on the opposite side presumably without seeing me. I hear the “class mom”, an extreme “goody goody”, “collector of money for gifts to teachers” EVERY holiday (valentines really?! Halloween? Did you know there is teacher’s appreciation day AND “teacher’s day”??! Doesn’t mean they don’t deserve the gifts….I love teachers…just saying..) “organic vegetable giver” and “volunteering her time to the school everyday mom” say rather loudly “he (indicating my son) is a sweet enough child despite his intensity (hmm) but the mom I think, seems very RUDE. I’m not sure how to proceed. It doesn’t feel good and I want to somehow defend myself but what I do instead is turn my heels and walk towards my car. I hope they saw me but seriously doubt it since they are so wrapped up in talking and saying bye to their kids. That one kind of stung! But since then I’ve been pondering if this super mom was right? Am I the “rude” mom. Is this affecting my son? I should definitely make more of a conscious effort to smile brighter, be more enthusiastic, ask more questions (loudly) and be more cheerful overall (take a page out of these mommies’ rule book).

It is so hard though to be like that when it so isn’t me. I don’t mean that I’m rude (or am I?) I’m just more reserved and one thing I refuse to be is fake. I’m nothing if I’m not honest (to a fault…almost transparent with my thoughts and feelings). Anyways, now this lady is trying to have me sign up for some harvest festival I’m almost certain I don’t want to become involved in (it’s for your son something inside me whispers…I almost tell it to shut up… No more guilt). I want to tell her loudly that “NO! I don’t meant to be RUDE but…” I really don’t have time for this. But maybe I should (guilty conscious)…
I probably spend way to much time with my Swedish friends and my son hangs out with their kids not his classmates. Well, add it to the list! And ever the polite person (not rude at all) I sign up for what seems least painful on her clip board!  Good job and mommy plus points (ignoring another voice screaming “coward!!”).

Now how do I get out of this??

His teacher seems really sweet- I mean REALLY sweet! (This will be a long school year indeed). She tweets (not the social media version) about love (peace and understanding) but most of all sharing and caring (I thought “sharing is caring”!?). She hugs me multiple times calling me sweetheart and my son darling (I think we are both slightly uncomfortable) as she squeezes his hand (quite compulsively). But the most important part of this year she lets me know is the SHARING BAG!

Last year, we brought toys and stuff from home in the (bright green turtle) sharing bag. My son loved bringing stuff to school and telling his little friends about it! That’s easy I got that down!

Except “you see this year, we will fill the bag with intuition, philosophies, love and feelings” Yikes!…”caring inventions” (please explain…and say it isn’t so!)

Simply mom; “Put some sunshine into that sharing bag!”

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I hasn’t even been a week of school and already manage to mess up big time…can you say “WORST MOM EVER”….

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